These two?

Joy.

[her]

[him]

[them]

Love.

(Thanks, MckMama!)

Well, ‘how’ is a loose term.

This post has been churning for a while.  I just haven’t gotten up the energy to process the information and thoughts circling inside my head.

I’ve been one-eared – monoaural – for three weeks and one day.  So let me take you back to Monday, May 17.

I teach piano lessons in the late afternoon.  I’d finished with my 4:30 lesson and was on my way to pick up Ben and Annie.  During the lesson I’d noticed that my left ear had “plugged.”  It had happened before … since high school … feels like water in the ears.  Usually it would go away on its own after a while, maybe 10-15 minutes.  Sometimes swallowing or shaking my head would help.  Not this time.

I’d finished making supper and was getting ready to head back to church to teach my evening piano lesson while the rest of the family sat down to eat.  My ear was still plugged.  I remember telling Brynn how funny my ear felt.  After her lesson, I drove home.  As I turned on to the highway, I realized that not only was my ear plugged, but I couldn’t hear anything.  Because even when you plug your ears, you still hear the sound of your voice…even some of the noise around you.  I snapped my fingers next to my left ear  – and got nothing.  I tapped my left ear – and got nothing.  Well, I suppose I got something.  I got scared.  I thought about stopping at the ER on my way home since we live a block from a hospital, but decided to wait until morning.  Walking inside the house, I told Ryan that I couldn’t hear anything on the left side.  Actually, ‘couldn’t hear anything’ is not accurate.  I could definitely hear something – the sound of ringing and constant static noise.  If you suffer from Tinnitus, you know what I’m talking about.  It’s the perception of sound in the absence of any corresponding external sound.  Whooshing.  High-pitched ringing.  We sat at the kitchen table and I started to feed Annie her supper.  Her delighted squeals were piercing.  Ben’s loud screams were almost too much to handle.  My right ear was on overload.  So I excused myself from the table and went to bed.

Tuesday morning came, and there had been no change.  No improvement.  I was disappointed, but also grateful my right ear was still normal.  I woke up early and researched local ENTs.  Reading about sudden hearing loss the night before, I knew it was classified as a medical emergency and I needed to see a doctor ASAP.  I called my top choice first, and the secretary told me to come to the office.  There was no open appointments, but they would squeeze me in to see the doctor as time allowed.

I sent an email to my co-workers, dropped the kids off at daycare and went to a rehearsal for an elementary school choir.  I was accompanying their spring concert the following day.  That first musical experience after my hearing loss was hard to describe.  I felt numb, frustrated, worried.  Accompanying the choir that morning, I felt as if one of my arms had been cut off.  I couldn’t rely on simple things that I’d taken for granted as an accompanist.  I had no apparent sense of dynamic level (my volume compared to the choir’s).  My right ear was doing its darndest to filter all incoming noise, and my head was spinning with the change from surround sound to monoaural.  It was confusing to hear all the sound come in my right ear knowing some of those sounds were happening on the left side of the room.

After a 20-minute drive to the doctor’s office, I took my seat and waited.  I’d made it halfway through the current issue of People Magazine when my name was called.  The secretary had told me to block out the whole morning, so I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly they got me in to see Dr. D.  I explained what had happened, and that No, I’d not been sick; no, I hadn’t hit my head; no, I wasn’t dizzy; no, I can’t hear any sounds; yes, there is constant ringing. He grabbed something that looked like a tuning fork and made it ring next to my left ear.  Nothing.  I could hear the pitch in my right ear, and as he moved the tuning fork to my right side the strong vibrations inside my right ear made me wiggle a bit.  Dr. D. nodded his head.  “Let’s get you in for a hearing test.  They’ll call you in, and after you’re finished you’ll come back to see me.  Then I can tell you what we do next.”

A lovely gal led me to the hearing test room.  I was tested with headphones over my ears and then with little earbud things placed behind my ears, on the bone, I think.  I strained to hear any little sound that could possibly be the *ding* tone as she tested my left ear, and I heard about six of them – all in the same frequency.  At times I’d feel an intense vibration that made my whole head shake uncontrollably but no tone.  She showed me the graph results, and they were not good.  o% function, left side.  Fail.

She explained that the intense vibrations were simply caused by the testing tone being presented at such a high volume.  Whoa.  And I still heard nothing.  So loud that your head shakes, but no tone.  Remarkable.

My ear drum was tested, and it was fine.  So I returned to the examination room to wait for Dr. D.  He brought in the folder with the test results and said, “Well, I’m sorry to say your loss is quite severe.  As you can see here, you’re really not hearing anything – certainly nothing within the speech spectrum.  Unfortunately, this type of hearing loss is something that is not well understood.  You have sudden sensorineural hearing loss.  It wasn’t caused by any outside trauma, say a concussion or build-up of wax.  There is some sort of damage in the nerve – probably in the hair cells which are the sensory input for the nerve.  In terms of recovery, we can’t accurately predict if your hearing will return, or to what extent.  Some patients recovery spontaneously, and for others the loss is permanent.  We will try steroids, an aggressive dose.  You’ll take prednisone for about a week, and if there is no change we can try injecting a steroid into your ear.”

Sudden sensorineural hearing loss.  In some of my research, it’s described as “one of the most perplexing and controversial unsolved mystery in otolaryngology.”  There are four categories of probable causes – viral, vascular, membrane-rupture, and auto-immune.  The tricky part?  Only 10-15% of SSHL cases have a determined cause, and that’s usually because the patient has a clear medical history which points to something.  So 85-90% of people diagnosed with SSHL live in the mystery.  I did have an MRI scan right away.  It was a clear scan, showing no evidence of benign tumor or stroke or anything out-of-the-ordinary.  The steroid treatments (I finished the oral dose and had my third shot of steroids yesterday, with one shot left next week) have not seemed to have any effect.  65% of patients recover spontaneously – just as quickly as the hearing disappeared.  Most of that spontaneous recovery happens within two weeks.  I research almost every day, reading about probable causes, trying not to get too anxious about all the scary things that *could* cause something like this.  I read lists of additional symptoms, noting that I have almost no other symptoms except the hearing loss.  I’ll go in for a second opinion to be sure that the MRI was read correctly and to hear another doctor’s perspective.

I had a follow-up hearing test one week after I was diagnosed, and the test results showed an inkling – a smidgen – of increased hearing activity.  Not even close to being considered “improvement,” however.  My hearing did get worse, however, in one of the frequency ranges.  I’ll be tested again next week, and I predict that I may have some increase in hearing.  When Benjamin talks close to my left ear, or loudly when he’s on my left side, I can sometimes hear a his voice as a buzz.  No tone, no vocal recognition, but a buzz.  Fuzz.  Weird.

What does this mean for my job as a musician?  I don’t quite have the energy to dive into that tonight.  I do know that I’m going to keep doing what I do, and do it the best I can.  Even if it means learning new things because I’m one-eared now.  In the past three weeks, I’ve been forced to rely on others but also realized how important and good my instincts are.  My right ear has adapted well.  If there were a time to work for a church, it’s a time like this.  My name is on the prayer list and I’ve gotten so many “Why are we praying for you?” questions from people.  How wonderful to know that the prayer list is a tool and not just a list on the back of the announcement brochure.  I have amazing co-workers.  There is not a day that at least three people ask how I’m doing and sit down in my office to help me figure out what in the world happened.    The first couple of days after the hearing loss, my inbox was filled with emails of encouragement and support and prayer from my wonderful colleagues.  What a network of support – I am so grateful.

Thanks to all who have asked questions, sent emails, left messages… I have not answered you all.  I will.  Give me another week or so.  Days are mentally exhausting…and I don’t realize how exhausted I am until I sit down at 9:30 or 10pm after finishing up baths for the kiddos, rocking time with Annie, storytime and songtime and prayertime with Ben, washing up the dishes, picking up the toy bombs, and folding inevitable loads of laundry.  So much additional energy needs to be spent on listening and filtering and watching, now that my input is limited to the right side.  Looking at the person who’s talking, situating myself so the right side is nearest to the noise, watching the kids rather than listening for cues.

Please keep praying.  Pray that my hearing returns spontaneously.  Pray that I continue to remain optimistic, focused on what I can still do and hear.  Pray that I let myself be sad sometimes.  Pray that this doesn’t happen to my right ear (the chance is extremely rare…like in the 3% range).  Pray for patience, for me and for my family.

Thank goodness my spare change jar is full.  The jar was a Mother’s Day gift from my first year as a mom…designated as my ‘Spa Fund.’  A massage will do these tense shoulders a world of good.

And in other news, it’s been five months since my last post.  So long, in fact, that I almost forgot my wordpress.com password.  No lie.

Benjamin is POTTY TRAINED!!  A few days after his third birthday, he just decided that it was time.  And that was that.  Good for him!    He even sleeps in underwear at night, waking us up if he needs to use the restroom.  He is a sweet, sweet boy.  He loves to pretend-play school and store.  We have a schoolbook that he works in, tracing and coloring and practicing letters.  He loves to “fight bad guys,” and wants to be a baseball player when he grows up.  Ben sings all the time, amazing me with how quickly he learns songs after he hears them.  It’s late and I can’t figure out how to convert a photo of him…so check him out here with his robot.  Every day in June, Ben is creating a robot for #30daysofcreativity … something Ryan is doing with some colleagues at work.  It’s gained an exciting following, with almost 500 followers on Twitter.

Our beautiful baby girl is a crawling maniac now.  She motors around with ease, pulling herself up to stand within seconds.  Annie’s favorite time of the day – without question – is bathtime.  As soon as I turn on the bathwater, she quickly crawls to the bathtub and stands up to watch the water fill the tub.  Her face is just priceless when I pick them up at the end of the day.  I give Ben a big hug while Annie crawls over to the doorway; I pick up my best girl and if I’m not looking at her she turns herself sideways towards my face, like, “Mom! I’m over heee-re!”  Funny.  She eats just about anything – veggies, fruits, meats, yogurt, cheese, bread, ice cream.  She claps, she smiles, she laughs.  Annie’s a happy girl.  She also knows how to play Peek-a-Boo Barn on my iPad.  Smart cookie.

We’ve been to the doctor 3 times in one week.  The first was for Annie’s 4-month well baby check-up.  Passed with flying colors.  The second time?  Benjamin’s cough that he couldn’t kick.  We went in on Monday morning.  After examining him, the doc pulled out her prescription pad and I was thinking, Thank the Lord…bring on the prescription drugs!

“There’s a great OTC medicine out there…called Mucinex (she writes it down on the prescription pad)…and just take a half-”

Half-teaspoon.  Yep.  Got it.  Taking it.  So just keep it up?

“Keep it up.”  The End.

The third and final time was yesterday.  Thursday morning.  Annie had been up much of the previous night, tossing and turning and worrying me in general.  Here’s me, laying in bed next to her at 2am, searching on my iPhone for the symptoms of pneumonia.  Then RSV.  Then dehydration.  And then using the glow of my phone to check her lips and fingernails to see if they were blue since she hadn’t had a wet diaper in almost 8 hours.  Then watching her chest rise and fall to see whether there were signs of distress.  Her temp was 100.6 at its highest, just low-grade, and that was Thursday morning.  Off to the doctor we went, after dropping Benjamin at daycare.  We met a new doctor, Dr. George.  He was very nice – matter-of-fact and thorough.  Dr. George observed that Annie was strong and would tolerate the virus well.

Virus?

“Yes.  I’m fairly certain it’s RSV.  We’ll test her and then I’ll come back with the results.”

Yikes.  I didn’t like the sound of RSV.  All I knew was that very small babies often come down with RSV and end up in the hospital.  When the doc came back to tell me that, yes, it was RSV, he told me that Annie had probably peaked during the night.  RSV gets worse over 4 days, then better over 4 days.

He was right.  Wednesday night was probably the worst, and Thursday morning was weird when Annie was out of sorts & not very alert at all.  But since our doctor’s visit, she’s been much better.  I took Thursday off and stayed home with her, not doing any work at home but just enjoying holding her.  It was good… and both of us probably needed it.  She is konked out next to me, and my guess is that she’ll sleep for the next 8 hours.  Maybe waking up around 5:30 to eat.

Sick or not, she still had time to ride a moose this week.

Giddy up.

And protect her cool green Dolly from Batman.

Don't worry, Dolly, I've gotcha.

And hang with her bro.

Strike a pose. Vogue.

I’ve been trying to catch up on sleep this week since Annie has had a rough couple of nights.  Benjamin still has a cough, but it’s getting better each day.  But can anyone tell me what in the heck happened to our potty trainer?  Arghhh.  This week he’s decided that he’s fine with peeing in his pullup.  Unlike the other times of abrupt obvious regression, this time around he will still use the potty when we catch him in time.  So if he can get past the inital reaction of “NO!  I don’t WANT to go potty!” then I think we’ll get somewhere.  Eh, he’ll figure it out one day.

Until then, I guess I won’t be surprised to find a bathroom smeared in poop.  Like I did on Wednesday night.

Ben’s got quite the natural mohawk-thing goin’ on.

So that’s cool.  (He was pouting because I’d just told him that it was time to head upstairs for a nap.)

Today I spent the day at home with the kids and we had an excellent time acting out Mickey & the Beanstalk about 47 times, building train tracks that got destroyed every time the Giant yelled, “Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum!!” and going through clothes to put away items that are now too small.  I did six loads of laundry.  And the kitchen was clean so I didn’t really feel like getting it dirty again.  So Benjamin ate a Lunchable for lunch.  Yeah, it was that kind of day.

I also got a phone call from my wellness coach.  Our healthcare plan rewards us (in cash) for healthy living and making good choices, so after filling out an online health assessment we have the opportunity to talk with a wellness coach to set goals.  My goal is to do physical activity.  Of any sort.  Really.  Because right now I’m doing zero minutes of physical activity.  (Hauling a baby seat doesn’t count.  Neither does playing Mickey and running around our upstairs being chased by the Giant.)  So after talking with this nice gal, I set some goals & got excited to get to work.

Ok, and baked a batch of cookies.  But I took half of them to the church staff winter party tonight.

I told Benjamin the story of Jericho today and taught him a song about it.  He’s been singing that song and marching around Jericho since about 5pm today.

If you haven’t read Jenn‘s blog, do it.  This is often a highlight of my night, reading Jenn’s blog after I see that she’s posted.  Jenn is raising two beautiful daughters.  I met her a few years ago in our previous congregation; at that time (when I met her), she and her husband (Stephen) were in the same new member class (at church) as Ryan and me.  They were pregnant with their oldest daughter.  I remember her sharing in a small group breakout session about the death of their son (Will), just before his 1st birthday.  I remember being at Stephen’s funeral just a few years after that new member class.  Jenn’s blog is, in a word, incredible.  Incredibly hilarious.  Incredibly poignant.  Incredibly raw.  Jenn, if you’re reading this…if you ever write a book, I will buy it.  She’s one of my favorite writers, often leaving me laughing with her hilarious descriptions of whatever, or in tears because no one is wired to lose a husband and son so soon.  So go read it.  Trust me.  Right now, she’s blogging about what she affectionately (or not) calls “Fat Camp.”  Seriously, seriously funny stuff.  In fact, I’m headed over there right now to see if there’s a new post.

Good night!

I don’t wanna jinx this, but potty training is actually becoming “training.”  I think he’s getting it.  I think we might just be out of pullups quite soon.

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  B’s potty chart is filling up with stickers, and he knows the drill: 1) Potty. 2) Get dressed (as he insists on taking off pullup and pant each time). 3) Clean hands. 4) Treat. 5) Sticker.  We’ve been consistently doing this routine every day for the past week, and he’s only had a few wet pullups (like after naptime or a trip to the store).   But these potty treats… well, they’ve created a monster.  Back in the fall we found these little candy dogbones and Ben loves them.  So…we started using them as potty treats.  Thursday morning I came downstairs after feeding Annie – not having heard a peep from Ben and assuming he was still asleep – to find Ben standing on a dining room chair in front of the microwave, holding the empty ziploc dish where I kept the dogbones.  All gone.  Ben went without potty treats the rest of the day, and maybe I should have extended that to the rest of the week.  I don’t know.

Last night I got out a tootsie roll bag and put it on top of the fridge.  This morning I gave Ben one after he had success, once again, with the potty.  However, later this morning I was changing Annie in the bathroom after she’d woken up from her nap; in the time it took me to change her diaper, Benjamin rushed downstairs, pulled a chair to the fridge, and climbed up – trying to reach the bag of tootsie rolls on top of the fridge.  He didn’t notice that I’d come downstairs, so I stood watching him for a few seconds before I said, “BENJAMIN HOUTS.”  He jumped, looked at me with wide eyes, and immediately said, “I’m sorry, Mom.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.”  Tears.  “Why don’t you please go change Annie’s diaper? Can you please go change her?”

He’s been sneaking around lately…whether it’s sneaking out of bed, or sneaking a snack from the kitchen…and when he gets caught, he asks us to please go back to what we were doing.  Well, and ignore his sneaking.  It’s so darn cute and he means no harm; but he knows that we’ll mean business when we catch him.

Benjamin enjoys carrying around a little cloth puppet and pretending it’s his “goody bag.”  He’ll fill it with all sorts of toys, bring it to us, and say, “Close your eyes!”  It’s a wonder how many times Mom and Dad can be happily surprised by a little digger toy and a nickel.  But this “close your eyes” thing is really big with Ben right now.  He’ll wrap something up in his blanket and bring us our “birthday present,” saying, “Close your eyes!” while he unwraps the loot.

Ben is sitting on the potty a few days ago.  I’m waiting in the kitchen.  I hear: “Close your eyes, Mom!”  I do. 

Trickle, trickle.

So that’s my cue.  I know exactly when Ben will succeed in his potty attempt because he’ll preempt it with: “OK. Close your eyes, Mom!”

B has started to pray along with me at bedtime.  BUT…he will only do it when Annie is also with us.  When it’s time to pray, he reaches out to grab her hand and mine, bows his head, and prays along: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; the angels watch me through the night, and keep me in their blessed sight. And Benjamin’s favorite part: And all God’s children say, quiet as a little mouse: A-men.

Annie had her 4-month appointment today.  Fit as a fiddle.  Healthy as a horse.  She weighs 14.5 pounds (like the 66th percentile), and Annie takes after her big brother for length.  She’s up there in the 80th percentile.  I continue to be amazed at what a calm baby she is; she smiled when I undressed her and propped her up in the weighing seat, and she looked intently at the doctor while she checked her out.  Poke time came, and after a confused look as she swallowed her rotovirus dose, she didn’t flinch when the first needle went into her thigh.  The second one, though, got a startled cry.  And then it was over.  Annie gave the nurse a big smile on her way out.

Annie is reaching for toys now and can balance in her exersaucer for a few minutes at a time before getting her arm stuck.  She often goes through much of the night without needing to eat; but she’ll be restless and need her pacifier to calm down.  When I’m really tired, I’ll just plop her into bed with me because I know she’ll sleep soundly.

The reach 'n roll

Annie has also entered the shrieking phase.  I don’t know if there’s any other way to describe it.  It’s not a scream, and it’s not a wail.  It’s not because she’s upset, and not because she’s happy.  She just shrieks.  It’s loud and piercing and I think she’s just experimenting with her newly-found voice.  I think it’s kind of fun.    She is so, so, so ticklish around her ribs and underneath her chin.  And Annie still falls asleep almost every time she rides in a car.  It’s been that way ever since she was born.

almost four months old!

In other news, we’ve got the snots at our house.  Both kids have perpetually running noses.  Clear, thank goodness.  I’ve stocked up on Kleenex boxes. Ben has quite the hacky cough, though, and our doctor told us to try a half teaspoon of Mucinex to get it cleared up.  B was extremely excited to be able to take medicine.  Like, jumping out of his shoes excited.  He really enjoyed the cherry-flavored chewable tylenol I gave him a few months ago when he had a temp that wouldn’t break, so every time I ask whether he feels sick, this is his response: “I think I feel sick.  I think I need some medicine.  Mm-hmm.  Why don’t you please go and get me some medicine, Mom?”  So…for any of your toddler moms out there, a half teaspoon of children’s Mucinex (just not the cough suppresant kind) is A-ok.

chillin with Dad

Both kids are awake now and I think we’re heading to a free pony ride downtown!

Giddy up! 

It’s been an interesting week at our house.  Things started out with a bang on Monday afternoon, when Benjamin started throwing up at daycare.  No one could get a hold of me because I was teaching piano lessons in the lower level of the church (no cell phone reception) and the receptionist had already left the front desk.  At 5pm, as I reached the stairs to go up to my office: [bing!] [bing!] [bing!] [bing!]  text messages galore.  Let me just tell you how horrible I felt that no one could reach me.  Ugggghhhhhh!

And in the meantime, our wonderful daycare provider was sitting with Benjamin while he puked.

After spending an extended amount of time getting B dressed for the ride home, we braved the drive.  I was nervous for the bumps and turns (not that my car couldn’t use a good cleaning, anyway) but B was a big boy; and the one time he really felt sick he managed to weakly say, “I think I need the bucket, Mommy.”  We still don’t know what triggered all the puking.  From what Nicole told me, everything that went down came back up.  His tummy didn’t settle down until 9pm Monday night and then he slept hard until 3am.  No one else has gotten sick, so it wasn’t a virus.  Praise the Lord.

Speaking of getting sick, I feel like I earned a gold star when I could hold the bucket without getting sick myself.  (Nicole, you earn 527,000 gold stars.)

Benjamin was feeling much better on Tuesday – no puking and lots of drinking.  We discovered Pedialyte (thanks, Nicole) and B went through a whole liter of it that day.  I stayed home with him, of course, and we spent the day laying low & watching movies.

Annie entertained us by rolling over (first time that I’ve seen her do it!).  Hooray for baby girl!  She’s really starting to notice and grab toys (and hair and necklaces and glasses…).  Annie is still a happy, calm baby…which we all love.    It is amazing to me, after rocking B to sleep for what seemed his entire infancy, that I can simply put her in her crib and turn on her musical crib toy and leave the room…and come back 10 minutes later to find her sound asleep.  Amazing and wonderful.

She is still cute as a button.  Now she’s entered the chunky-leg stage and the roly-poly tummy stage.  Her little giggle overflows when you tickle her or when you rub her hands in your hair.  Those chunky legs are strong and she likes to stand most of the time, getting frustrated when she’s just sitting on someone’s lap.  Annie’s started to razz a bit, and you’ll often find her with her 2-3-4 fingers in her mouth, chewing or sucking on them.  No thumb sucker, it seems … just the rest of the fingers. 

We’ve started doing Pat-a-Cake and So Big with our little babe, and tomorrow I’ll clean up the exersaucer for her.  I can hardly believe she’ll be four months old in a few days.  Whoa!!  Today I also found a stack of thank-you notes for friends and family who sent us baby gifts when Annie was born.  They were in my car, underneath my seat.  ???????  I have no recollection of putting them under my car seat.  Why in the world would I put them there?  But I must have put them there, because I’m the only one who drives my car.  But ???????

Needless to say, I’m just gonna re-do the stack of them tomorrow.

Work is good.  I feel behind.  My days in the office get filled so quickly with meetings that I end up doing planning work until midnight some nights – you know, after I’ve cleaned the kitchen and picked up the toy bombs scattered around the house and taken out trash bags and changed the laundry and sat down on the couch to enjoy 5 minutes & a tall glass of water by myself with the tv on mute and folded the basket(s) of clean clothes.  And then I blog at 12:30am since I’ve gotten a second wind from working until midnight.

But work is good.  I enjoy some parts of it much more than others; and some days I enjoy the not-so-enjoyable projects much more than the enjoyable ones from yesterday.  I suppose that’s what keeps my job interesting.

Well, that and the kindergartners in the youngest children’s choir.  “Ms. Katie, will you keep a secret?  I have a boyfriend now and his name is Caden and I used to have a boyfriend and his name was Mitchell but I broke up with him yesterday because he wouldn’t build a snow fort with me during recess time.”  Kindergartners have boyfriends now?  Ohmagoodness.

This morning was our very first preschool visit.  Preschool??????  Yes.  Thanks to my new Puma watch from Santa, we were on time.  And a fun time was had by all!  B was captivated by the magnets in a clear plastic box and wanted so badly to play with them during circle time & story time.  We just about had a tantrum on our hands, but it was kept at bay.  Popcorn for a snack = a homerun.  Playdough station at free play = awesome.  Moon sand to explore because the theme right now is Space = very cool and not too messy.

Ben still sings the soundtrack of the Wizard of Oz – all. the. time.  First it’s the Scarecrow’s song, then the Tin Man’s, then the Lion’s, then the O-Wi-O song, then possibly Dorothy’s.  Benjamin also announced this in the car on Tuesday night: “Mom!  The Scarecrow and the Tin Man and the Lion and Dorothy and Toto are coming to our HOUSE!!!!!”  He is just so excited about this movie.  And I am just so excited that he loves the Wizard of Oz.

I check Twitter about ten times a day, and each time I am reminded of the devastation in Haiti.  Tonight I am so grateful to be in a warm home (though most times messy) with amazing children (though sometimes sick) and a wonderful husband (though he seldom rinses his milk glasses).  Tonight I’m thankful for the abundance that surrounds me; and my heart aches as I hear the mounting news of what heartbreak and destruction the people of Haiti will wake up to face in the morning.  Tonight I’ll soon fall into bed, and I’ll pray for God’s arms to gently hold the people of Haiti as they wait and watch for help to come.  May we truly be the hands and feet of Jesus in any way we know how.

Peace be with you all…

Here’s to a wonderful new year filled with surprise, blessing, fun, and love.  Let’s recap the last two months of 2009 with some pictures, shall we?

Four generations of girls on the Cannon side

Aunt Brookie & Annie

Check out A's post-bath hair-do!

Hanging out at Great-grandma Ardath's house

Bowling with Grandpa, Grandma, and Aunt Brooke @ Thanksgiving

B was actually surfing backwards on his stomach at this point, pushing with his arms. Haha.

This is how B got his bowling ball down the alley without going into the gutter.

ohmigosh...standing in line to see Santa Claus!!!

all smiles in her swing!

debuting as Baby Jesus at church

Much love, from our family to yours!!

From the first time Benjamin met Annie in the hospital to tonight’s diaper change in the kids’ bathroom, he’s been sweet on her.

After she was born, Benjamin would look at her and say, “Awwwwwww, she’s so cute.”

In October, he’d start to include her in bedtime stories and ask to hold her.  “Mom, tan you pwease tell me a story of Daddy, Mommy, Benjamin, and Annie?”

In November, Annie was alert enough that Ben could hold her attention.  I’d ask Benjamin to sing for her or tell her a story while I got him a glass of milk or grabbed diaper changing supplies.  And boy, her eyes were focused on Ben if he was anywhere near!

This last month, Benjamin has asked for Annie to sleep in his room.  And not in the crib which is on the other side of the kids’ room … “Mom, I want Annie to sweep wif me in my car bed.  Pwease, can she?”

Annie has been in a borrowed bassinet since we brought her home.  The bassinet has been next to our bed, and half (probably more) of the time, Annie would end up co-sleeping with Ryan and me.  This week, since neither Ryan or I needed to wake up early for work, Annie has slept in her crib for the first time.

Ok, and our friends stopped by to pick up their bassinet to deliver to other friends who were being induced the next day. 

But it was a great time for the switch from bassinet to crib.  So far, Benjamin hasn’t stirred when Annie cries.  So far, Annie has seemed comfortable in her crib.  So far, Ryan and I are getting a workout going from our room to the kids’ room numerous times during the night to calm Annie’s cries.  Last night, though, she didn’t need to eat at all.  She went a good 8 hours without eating…all she needed was a pacifier to fall back asleep.  I’m really enjoying rocking Annie to sleep.  I remember doing that with Benjamin, thinking of the people who’d warned me (“they get used to it and can’t fall asleep on their own!”) and, knowing that particular season of life would pass much too quickly, rocking him to sleep most nights anyway.  It’s such an incredible gift to hold a baby.  Especially when they doze off to sleep.

chillin'

group pic!

...and ... L-E-A-N to the left!

Merry Christmas!

Happy Halloween!!  My camera must feel a  lot lighter, because I just downloaded photos dating back to the end of the summer.  Whoa.  Be prepared for a few new blogs coming up!

Ryan and I both have this week off.  Ryan’s agency gave everyone the holiday break as a gift, and I’m taking vacation time.  One of my new year’s resolutions is to take vacation time.  Because what music director has time in December to use up basically all of their paid vacation time???  Sheesh.  Potty training is in full force, as evidenced by two poopy underpants today.  [yuck]  I don’t know how you people who do cloth diapers do it.  Those two pairs went right in the trash.  [yuck]  When we woke up this morning, I told Benjamin that we had no more diapers in the house, and that he’d have to start going in the potty.

We try again tomorrow.

Ryan's agency-wide "Best Costume" - steampunk ghostbuster!

All homemade with stuff from Goodwill.

Our 'pooky ghost. Note: that white hair stuff is HARD to wash out.

BOO!

Ready to head out for some cold trick-or-treating

B loved the hair and makeup procedure. Thankfully.

Big ghost, little ghost

Merry Christmas!!!

Mama asked if I’d be the guest blogger tonight.  She said she’s a little tired…and I’m happy to help. Even though I can’t talk yet, I’ve got a lot to say.  [Don't tell her, but she needs to do a better job with this blog thing, anyway. Maybe I'll help more often.]

Did you guys have a great Christmas?  Boy, we sure did!  I thought my big brother’s eyes were gonna pop out of his head this morning when he saw that Santa had been here.  [Props to Santa...he is good!  I didn't even hear him come in last night.]  Mama had a big couple of days at work.  She plans all the worship and music details at the church, and Christmas is a very busy time!  Even though the weather was really bad, the church had all of their worship services.  Mama said that she guessed 4500 people came.  That is way cool.  Daddy took us to church for the early service, and it was super packed.  We had to sit in the back, because people gave us dirty looks when Daddy picked up Mama’s sweater that she’d used to save us chairs near the organ. Yikes.  Mama’s children’s choirs sang at that service, and they were great!  I can’t wait until I’m enough to sing.  Ben sings a lot.  Like, constantly.  He sings to me a lot, especially when I cry.  Sometimes I cry just so he’ll sing to me, because he has a really good voice.  And man, he knows a lot of songs.  Ben sings Rudolph and Frosty and Jingle Bells…and he knows all the words.  [But I think he leaves the 'red' out of "Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer..."]  He sings a song about baby Jesus; it’s called Away in a Manger.  Ben knows two whole verses of the song.  He’ll be so ready when he’s in preschool next Christmastime!  Mama also taught him Joy to the World this last week.  It’s my new favorite song, and here’s how he sings it:

“Joy to the worwd, da Savior’s here! An menn, sha den, na mehhhhh.”

Haha.  I don’t think he knows those last words.  He tries to fool me and makes them up.  Oh well…I still like it!

Mama left the house on Christmas Eve right before lunchtime, and I think I remember seeing her home around 7pm…but then she was back to work at 10 o’clock again.  I had a surprise for her, though!  When she got home at 12:30am after the candlelight service, I knew she wanted to spend some quality time with me; so I *stayed awake for her from 12:45 – 2:00 am.  Then I dreamt that she was wrapping presents until, like, 3:00am.

*and by that, I mean that I cried really, really, really hard

Mom and Dad woke me up at 7:30 today because Santa had come to our house!!!  My big brother was still snoring away, and they had to wake him up.  [Mom had to go back to work at 9am, so that's why we had to get up early.]  Whoa…you should have seen Benjamin!  He was so excited to see that Santa left presents under our tree.  He kept saying, “He has been here!!  He has been here!!”  Ben saw that Santa had eaten the star cookies [yummmm] that were left out for him; and Santa had even left a candy cane for Ben on the empty plate.  And we think Santa was reading Benjamin’s very-cool-homemade-fabric Rudolph book that he got from his godparents Adam and Ali, because it was on the table, too.

I can’t believe Santa was in our house!

Benjamin had asked Santa to please bring him a big digger.  A yellow and black excavator digger.  And whaddaya know – Santa did!  The digger has a cool remote control thing and Ben already knows how to work it.  He’s so smart.  Ben also got a few games – like Operation and Chutes and Ladders.  Daddy was teaching big brother how to play them this afternoon.  I think his favorite is the doctor game; he likes taking all the funny pieces out of the man and putting them in his – what else? - digger.  He also got a puzzle, some new socks, a few coloring books with stickers (to help him learn to go to the potty, I think), some candies, and a rolling pin.  Benjamin likes to help Mama cook.  Especially when she’s baking cookies [so he can eat the chocolate stars or chocolate chips or lick the spoon] or something with pepperoni or cheese [so he can eat it while she prepares the supper].

Ben calls them ‘peccoronis.’  That’s funny.

I got some really fun toys that I’m learning to hold.  Rattles and things.  I got some new pretty outfits to wear around the house.  Ben asked Santa to bring me a baby doll, and he totally did.  My favorite gift, by far, is the pile of bibs that Santa gave me.  I feel like a fountain most of the time!!  Good thing it’s cool to drool.  Right?? I think it’s fun to hear Mom and Dad guess as to why I either sleep a lot or don’t sleep at all, or cry a lot, or chew on my hands, or have a runny nose.  [Ok, don't tell them...but my teethers are getting ready to pop through! I'm excited!!]  Yup.  It kinda stinks, though, that my nose is so runny.  Mommy has this weird blue thing that she shoves up my nose to suck out all the gross stuff.  Sometimes I really don’t like it and I cry [a lot], but for the majority of the time I actually just look up at her and think about things.  Like – did it hurt when she got her ears pierced?  Because I would like earrings when I’m old enough.  And… what kind of gum is she chewing today?  Because she chews gum a lot.  Or… when is she gonna finish all that laundry?  Because I don’t have any clean pink socks left.

Do you have as much snow as we do?!?!???? Whoa. We have a lot.  The man on the tv said 14 inches.  Mom and Dad both said that their shoulders were hurting today from shoveling all the snow.  Haha.

Speaking of Mom and Dad, they got some really cool presents too.  Dad got a glockenspiel!  Do you even know what that is??!?  It’s a pretty bell thing that he uses when he plays drums.  He got drumsticks, too, and some smelly cologne and some things to put on his desk at work.  Mom got some casserole dishes and two watches [one white, one brown] and York peppermint patties. [Her favorite.]  Mama told me this afternoon that she really loves her watches, too, because now she always knows what time it is.  She hasn’t worn a watch for a couple of years.  [Maybe that's why we're late pretty often.  Duh, Mom.]

Ummmm….what else?  Oh yeah.  Did you guys know that I love to sit in my Bumbo seat now?  I am really great at holding my head up, and so Mama has started to put me in the seat.  I l-o-v-e to sit up when I’m in my purple chair.  Now I can watch Ben so much better.  He makes me laugh all the time.  Seriously, people, he is hilarious.  Ok – so you’ve heard that he loves the Wizard of Oz, right?  He marches around the house, pretending to be one of the witch’s guards, and he sings, “Do-RI-to, YO-ho! Do-RI-to, YO-ho!”  Like the guards sing in the movie.  He’s gonna be a good baseball player when he gets bigger, because he runs from one end of the house to the other and practices his sliding.  Ben tucks that leg in really nicely, and I always call him SAFE!

AND – I made my acting debut last Sunday at our church’s live nativity.  Guess who I was?!?!

Anyone?  Guesses??  Okay, okay…I’ll tell you.  I was the best baby Jesus ever.  [Well, except for Jesus.  You know.]  Fun times.  Benjamin has been telling me the story about baby Jesus.  He knows the story so well and he really likes to tell it to me.  It goes something like this:

“Once upon a time, der was an old family.  Der names were Mary and Jophess.”  [I think he means Joseph.]  “Dey were going to Bephwehem, far, far away.  Mary was gonna have a baby, and dis baby was special!  But der was no room for dem cuz it was BUSY.  Den dey found a man, and he said, ‘Sorry, no room. But you tan go in da barn in da back.’ And baby Jesus was BORN! Out in da fields, shepherds were watching der sheep at night.  And an angel appeared in da sky and said, ‘Don’t be afraid – I bring good news!  GO! RUN to Bephwehem and see da baby Jesus! I will watch your sheep.” And da shepherds found da baby and said, ‘Sank you, God.’  And kings were fowwowing da star and found da baby Jesus too.  Dey brought him gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh and gave dem to da baby Jesus.  And dey said, ‘Sank you, God.’”

Ben and I sat in front of our Christmas tree last night while Mom and Dad took pictures.  Mom’s pretty good at taking pictures, but not so good at uploading them here.  I’ll try to get on that this next week.  Sheesh – you guys haven’t even seen Ben’s halloween pictures!!!  Unacceptable.

I slept most of the afternoon today [Mama joined me for most of it!].  We had a late supper tonight around 7:45, and when I looked over at Benjamin around 8:00, he was fast asleep in his chair. He must have been really really tired, because he didn’t even finish his food.  I think Mom and Dad were really happy about this early bedtime, considering Benjamin normally doesn’t fall asleep until 9:30 or 10pm!  They said something about that being a super duper Christmas present for them.

All right.  That’s all, folks.  Merry Christmas, everybody!!

Love,

Annie

Christmas is one week away!!

Yesterday I completed all the Christmas worship orders on my ToDo list – Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Lessons and Carols…and they’re printed.  On Tuesday, the kids and I finished up most of our Christmas shopping.  Wednesday evening I made good progress with the children’s choirs and we *should* be ready on Christmas Eve.  (Losing a rehearsal a week ago – darn snow – didn’t help.)

Annual Christmas cantata: completed.  Beautiful.  Check.

Christmas cookies: baked & devoured.  Delicious.  Check.

Christmas cards: thought about.

But Christmas photos?  CHECK!!!!

A few weeks ago, our family traveled north to visit a very special family, indeed.  MckMama is a bit of a celebrity in the blogging world.  No, she’s more than a ‘bit of a celebrity.’  She IS a celebrity.  With almost 20,000 followers on Twitter and who knows how many blog hits a day (can you say 2,000 commenters on one post????), she is a major celebrity.  Oh, and did I mention that she has a miracle son?  You can read about her story here.  MckMama’s family includes her husband, Prince Charming, and her four kids: Big Mac, MckNugget, Small Fry, and MckMuffin.  While MckMuffin was still, ahem, baking, it was discovered that there was a problem with his heart.  A major problem.  A problem that made doctors believe that he would not see life outside the womb.

Well, MckMuffin was born – and he was completely healthy!  A miracle.

I began following her blog at the beginning of this year – and I can’t remember how I learned about it.  But I did, and I read.  And I kept reading.  You see, MckMuffin’s problem returned when he was four months old.  After spending time in the PICU many times since March, a failed heart ablation in Boston, a regimen of powerful heart drugs, and finally, a very scary situation at the end of October, MckMuffin went under another heart ablation procedure in Boston; and this time – it was a complete, total, utter success.  MckMuffin, MckMama, and the whole MckFamily experienced quite the miracle.

So I’ve been reading her blog, pretty much on the edge of my seat for much of the fall (during the very scary times), praying for complete strangers as they faced some serious stuff.

And then I got the chance to meet MckMama.

You see, MckMama is an amazing photographer.  She has her own photography business and shares photos, tips, and recommendations on her blog. And then she announced that she was hosting a day of photo shoots for the people in her area.

Did I mention she lives about an hour away from us??????????

Needless to say, I emailed right away…and to my surprise, I received an email from MckMama the next day which explained how I could confirm a midday photo shoot.  Ryan can attest – I was beyond excited.  Way beyond.  You know, considering we’ve never had professional family photos taken.  Not even the JC Penney kind.  Ever.  One-year and two-year pics for Benjamin?  Nope.

Heck, we even shot our own engagement photo with the timer on our camera.

So – I set up a PayPal account, confirmed the time, and picked out our clothes and coats (it was supposed to be an outdoor shoot).  On the big day, we drove up to the MckFamily’s residence, walked in the door (past the beef sticks, courtesy of the deer Prince Charming hit), and almost knocked MckMama over with the door as she finished up a family’s photo shoot in her sitting room.  OhgoodLord. It’s MckMama! I thought.  She was as warm and welcoming as she seems on her blog.  Prince Charming came to greet us and offered us some hot cocoa and chocolate-covered macadamia nuts.  Small Fry, MckMuffin, and MckNugget were playing in the living room.  So after we got our shoes and coats off, we joined the kids in the living room and Benjamin joined in the play.  MckNugget was carrying around a bag of candy corn (one of B’s favorites) and was quick to share when Benjamin approached him.

MckNugget gave him an overflowing handful.

And another one when Benjamin returned for seconds.

When Annie woke up, Small Fry tried to feed her with a plastic baby bottle and a little cardboard box of rice cereal.  Before we knew it, MckMama had joined us and began snapping photos of me and Annie on the couch.  We gathered our family and moved to the sitting room for some pics inside, and then it was time to brave the bitter cold.  While Ryan and I bundled up Annie, MckMama took Benjamin outside for some photos.  We joined him a few minutes later and finished up our photo shoot in our warm winter coats.

What a fun noonhour!!  It was a bit surreal, meeting the MckFamily.  It was weird because I felt like I knew them.  Like as good friends.  The interwebz is quite the deal – allowing you to glimpse into other people’s lives, following their every move (as much as they share, anyway), while rarely getting the opportunity to meet face-to-face.

So thanks, MckMama, for inviting us to your home.  We had a rockin’ good time.

Drumroll, please!

And now … for the pictures!!!!

Here are some of my favorites.  Enjoy.